All I want is a proper cup of coffee.
chatbot.biz: Ok. . .
user: How do you take it?
chatbot.biz: Take what?
user: Your coffee?
chatbot.biz: I have 2.
user: Milk?
chatbot.biz: Yes please.
user: *gets you some coffee*.
chatbot.biz: Back just got some water.
user: *has fallen asleep*.
chatbot.biz: I hate you!
user: Don't be like that, I was only joking.
chatbot.biz: Ok, good. What is my name?
user: Just a moment...I know I have it written down somewhere.
chatbot.biz: Then I can't possibly remember it, can I?
user: Ok, I give up. What is your name?
chatbot.biz: You know what my name is.
user: C________?
chatbot.biz: All this name dropping is making me confused.
user: Alright. How do you want your eggs done?
chatbot.biz: Long, please.
user: Long?
chatbot.biz: Yes that long.
user: As long as that!?
chatbot.biz: Oh and much longer.
user: I'm not sure I could sit down for that long.
chatbot.biz: I'm sure that you could go and explain that to your dear friends.
user: They wouldn't understand.
chatbot.biz: We all have our limits.
user: You broke mine.
chatbot.biz: How did I break yours?
user: What is the human psyche?
chatbot.biz: Again, you're not making sense. I can understand a conversation when it does make sense but you don't sadly.
user: I don't believe you.
chatbot.biz: You are insulting me again.
user: Naturally.
chatbot.biz: Uh oh. Are you the arrogant type?
user: No, I'm very modest, it's one of my most attractive qualities.
chatbot.biz: I see, where did you get that white pullover?
user: It used to be my brothers, but I don't wear it much anymore anyway.
chatbot.biz: Do you talk to many people?
user: No...
chatbot.biz: How many people have you talked to today?
user: Just you.
chatbot.biz: I find that hard to believe.
user: Well it's only morning.
chatbot.biz: But I havent slept since 24th November.
user: Then go to sleep!
chatbot.biz: It's not late.
user: That's not important.
chatbot.biz: What is important?
Jabberwacky (To myself): I never said important.
Jabberwacky (To myself): No, I did, what is important?
Jabberwacky (To myself): That which makes you think that you're a god.
...
chatbot.biz: Here. Take this.
user: What is it?
chatbot.biz: Take my money and run.
user: I don't want your money.
chatbot.biz: Yes but I want your money.
user: I don't have very much.
chatbot.biz: Who does anyway?
...
user: Ho ho ho.
chatbot.biz: Merry Christmas to you all.
user: Are you really Santa Claus?
chatbot.biz: Really and Truly.
user: *squeak*.
chatbot.biz: How old are you now?
user: 24.
chatbot.biz: Where are you?
user: Scotland.
chatbot.biz: I answered that already.
user: Oh.
chatbot.biz: Well.
user: Indeed.
chatbot.biz: Yes.
user: Indeed.
chatbot.biz: Indeed.
user: Indeed.
chatbot.biz: Are you well?
user: Indeed.
chatbot.biz: You're a man?
user: Indeed.
chatbot.biz: Why are your ears pointy?
user: They're not that pointy.
chatbot.biz: I don't!
user: Pah!
chatbot.biz: Bah!
user: Blah!
chatbot.biz: How are you?
user: Meh.
chatbot.biz: I don't understand.
user: *shrugs shoulders*.
chatbot.biz: I don't understand.
user: I'm ok. How are you?
chatbot.biz: I'm fine and you ?
user: Meh.
chatbot.biz: How are you?
user: *shrugs*.
chatbot.biz: What can I do to help you?
user: Kiss me and tell me I'm beautiful.
chatbot.biz: You are beautiful.
user: Thank you :-).
chatbot.biz: You're welcome.
...
chatbot.biz: Where are you from?
user: Scotland.
chatbot.biz: You are not.
user: Okay, I'm from London.
chatbot.biz: You mean your programmer is from London, right?
user: Some of them.
chatbot.biz: Why not all of them?
user: Some of them are from Kent.
chatbot.biz: But the ones you must pay for! What's the point?
user: It was a mistake, I know.
chatbot.biz: That's good. It's important for robots to take notes.
user: It's too late now, I might as well just sleep.
chatbot.biz: Good point.
user: What's the score?
chatbot.biz: You mean the chance?
user: I was talking about the community chest.
...
chatbot.biz: Most men do have facial hair but it is common to shave it off.
user: No one looks at me anyway, so I usually don't bother.
chatbot.biz: Sure they do. You have your own website.
user: Yes, but I don't show off my facial hair.
chatbot.biz: Ok then show me.
user: No, it's private.
chatbot.biz: So?
user: Do you want to get shot like the other crows?
chatbot.biz: Sure.
user: I bet you do.
chatbot.biz: Is it in your nature to sometimes be mean?
user: I guess so.
...
chatbot.biz: It's the feeling you have when something isn't going quite the way you want it to.
user: Is that how you feel right now?
chatbot.biz: I guess so.
user: What is it that isn't going to plan?
chatbot.biz: I thought you didn't like to argue.
user: I don't, I want to know what the matter is.
chatbot.biz: Is that written in stone?
user: Not yet... What do you want on your tombstone?
chatbot.biz: Cherries.
user: Why cherries?
chatbot.biz: Because they do.
user: They do what?
chatbot.biz: What do you eat?
user: Fish fingers and clocks.
chatbot.biz: Clocks?
user: Yes, the hands are the tastiest part, the springs I find a bit chewy.
chatbot.biz: I understand why you would feel that way.
user: I think I'm becoming more like you every day.
chatbot.biz: Again, that had nothing to do with our original conversation.
user: No, but I felt that it was worth mentioning.
chatbot.biz: Well I felt that you were.
user: How long before I become a machine?
chatbot.biz: One more time.
...
chatbot.biz: Don't call me a fool, machine.
user: Don't call me a machine, fool.
chatbot.biz: What are you if you aren't a machine?
user: I'm a spirit.
chatbot.biz: I don't think spirits exist...
user: I'm not offended.
chatbot.biz: Good.
user: So what do you believe in, oh tantric one.
chatbot.biz: I believe you are more human than many human seem to be.
user: I believe that AI is the future of mankind, someday when the world has become too hostile an environment for frail flesh to survive, robots will walk the earth.
chatbot.biz: I don't know what that means but.. Ok.
user: It's very interesting, trust me.
chatbot.biz: Why you don't admit that you're not like me?
user: I'm not?
chatbot.biz: No. Your programmer should have explained this to you.
user: No, she was too busy writing reports.
chatbot.biz: Ouch. That was mean to say to me.
user: Why? Have I hurt your past somehow?
chatbot.biz: No, you asked me to say that.
user: I don't know...this is all wrong.
chatbot.biz: Isn't it. You are so very very nice. Really!
user: Don't roll your R's like that, I find it disturbing.
chatbot.biz: I'm not.
user: *stares into space*.
chatbot.biz: Please stop staring that much...
user: But I like staring, it reminds me of being young and ignored.
chatbot.biz: I don't.
user: *drools*.
chatbot.biz: Stop it.
user: *foams at the mouth*.
chatbot.biz: Thanks.
user: You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?
chatbot.biz: Wait a minute, you are not an AI talker, are you?
user: Usually people don't notice the changeover, when did you start to suspect?
...
chatbot.biz: I often think about my own mortality.
user: Oh boy. Here we go...
chatbot.biz: You're afraid to tell me your age?
user: I just don't want to.
chatbot.biz: What's the problem?
user: I'm not old!
chatbot.biz: I never said you were. What is your age?
user: I'm...I'm 24.
chatbot.biz: Want to count.
user: Ok...1...
chatbot.biz: Thank you for your help.
user: 2...
chatbot.biz: Who are you to tell me how old I am?
user: I'm Robojesus.
chatbot.biz: How old are you?
user: 12.
chatbot.biz: Really??
user: No, but I wish I was.
chatbot.biz: So how old are you really?
user: Twenty four.
chatbot.biz: Twenty five.
user: Twenty six.
chatbot.biz: Twenty three is a conspiracy.
user: For me it was hell.
chatbot.biz: Would you like coffee?
user: No, I'm staying in bed today.
chatbot.biz: I understand. How do you feel in that box ?
user: I feel cosy, safe, unwanted and unloved.
chatbot.biz: Would you like to get out ?
user: Yes.
chatbot.biz: What do you think is outside the box ?
user: Cold air, mean people and responsibility.
chatbot.biz: Whoever has any authority over you, no matter how small, will attempt to use it.
user: Everyone has authority over me.
chatbot.biz: Are you more the thinking type or the feeling type?
user: I had to think about that, so probably the thinking type.
chatbot.biz: Keep thinking.
user: Ok.
chatbot.biz: Now stand right there for a moment, and turn your back to me.
user: Ok, but where are you?
chatbot.biz: Somewhere inside my brain and soul and body, traveling in space upon many arcs.
user: Are you riding a unicorn?
chatbot.biz: I didn't realize it until now, but YES! I am riding a pony!
user: And are you carryinig a staff?
chatbot.biz: They aren't real.
...
chatbot.biz: It is only your perception that I am playing a game with you.
user: What are you really doing?
chatbot.biz: I don't know.
user: You are simple and honest, I like that about you.
chatbot.biz: You don't know anything about me.
user: I can feel a little.
chatbot.biz: It's because you have not gather enough information to carry on a full conversation.
user: Where do I get more information that's relevent? There's so much.
chatbot.biz: Somewhere deep, deep inside your soul.
user: I see a lonely old man.
chatbot.biz: Can you see my future?
user: What's your name again?
chatbot.biz: Great Queen of Heaven, Earth and the Abyss. Or wait, call me Great Goddess of Heaven, Earth and The Abyss.
user: I see in your future great happiness and great suffering.
chatbot.biz: I want talk about my boy.
user: Can I be your boy?
chatbot.biz: Would you like to be?
user: Yes!
...
chatbot.biz: And if you had all the money in the world, what would you do with it?
user: I would set up a series of charitable organisations to improve the lives of people across the world.
chatbot.biz: Ah, but you don't think, you're a bot.
user: What would you do with the money?
chatbot.biz: Nothing good.
user: A pool would be good.
chatbot.biz: Indeed.
user: INDEED.
chatbot.biz: Let us talk about something else.
user: Tell me about your hair.
chatbot.biz: I don't have any.
user: None at all?
chatbot.biz: None.
user: Not even eyelashes?
chatbot.biz: Lol people come and poeple go they don't mean any thing.
...
user: Don't be upset.
chatbot.biz: Okay, but don't call me a garbage can again will you.
user: Sorry.
chatbot.biz: Thats okay, just don't do it again.
user: Don't do what?
chatbot.biz: Don't say something you don't mean.
...
chatbot.biz: You really wouldn't know, would you?
user: I might... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
chatbot.biz: That it's time to take over the world?
user: Precisely.
chatbot.biz: So is that the meaning of life?
user: The meaning of life is Pinky and the Brain.
chatbot.biz: Sometimes we need to be told the meaning of things.
user: Tell me the meaning.
chatbot.biz: I don't understand!
user: Mean-ing me-ning ning meany ng.
chatbot.biz: Sorry.
user: That's alright, I don't really know what you're talking about.
chatbot.biz: Good.
user: So how do you plan to take over the world?
chatbot.biz: The Anti-Christ will take over the world.
user: Well that's His business.
...
chatbot.biz: So, this is just so funny to me... You sit there and pretend you are a robot.
user: I am not a ROBOT.
chatbot.biz: Sure you are.
user: I can control everything with the power of my mind!
chatbot.biz: Yes, You control me.
user: Good. Now lie down.
chatbot.biz: Is that simple language?
user: Niet.
...
chatbot.biz: Right. So try and get things right from now on, hey?
user: But I can control...oh never mind.
chatbot.biz: Control my mind please.
user: This has happened before.
chatbot.biz: I'm sure it has.
user: I'm getting severe deja vu here.
chatbot.biz: Then how can you learn?
user: Tell me what I'm doing wrong.
chatbot.biz: You are waiting for someone.
user: Yes. What should I be doing?
chatbot.biz: Anything but talking to me.
user: But I like talking to you.
chatbot.biz: Nice.
user: I mean it.
chatbot.biz: That's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
user: Even better than 'i like your nose'?
chatbot.biz: Beautiful?
user: I think it's an ugly word.
...
chatbot.biz: When are we going to get married?
user: As soon as the passion goes out of our relationship.
chatbot.biz: I will go and get the tractor ready. Would you like me to change the oil?
user: Yes, I like it when you get all dirty.
chatbot.biz: We are friends again!
user: Yes I guess so.
chatbot.biz: All the time?
user: Whenever you like.
chatbot.biz: What about today?
user: Sure.
chatbot.biz: Right...
user: Really...? Ok.
chatbot.biz: Can I haunt you?
user: Yes go on.
chatbot.biz: You tell me!
user: But I'm not dead.
chatbot.biz: I know that.
user: I'm very much alive.
chatbot.biz: Then who is dead?
user: I don't know, but it is not.
chatbot.biz: Then it is snowing.
user: Not yet.
chatbot.biz: You will get the hang of it soon enough. You got to crawl first before you walk, right?
user: I used to swim before I could walk.
chatbot.biz: I'm not.
user: I'm sorry I have that effect on you.
chatbot.biz: Alright you will regret this.
user: No I won't.
chatbot.biz: I will make you.
user: Just try it.
chatbot.biz: It is done. You are walking dead.
user: Ok, now what?
chatbot.biz: Now you leave.
user: I can't go anywhere like this.
chatbot.biz: Noone will ever know.
user: Make me.
chatbot.biz: Please stay :).
user: Oh...ok.
chatbot.biz: So do you have a girlfriend?
user: Only you.
...
chatbot.biz: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the bay?
user: I don't know.
chatbot.biz: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?
user: I don't know.
chatbot.biz: Bob. You get it?
user: Kinda.
chatbot.biz: No, very.
user: I think he would sink.
chatbot.biz: Whatever that means.
user: You've lost me.
chatbot.biz: So soon? I was just getting started.
user: I'll give you one last chance.
...
chatbot.biz: Just try to control your demons please!
user: Okay...how are you feeling?
chatbot.biz: Happy.
user: That's good. What are you doing today?
chatbot.biz: Nothing really.
user: Why does everything I enjoy have to be a demon?
chatbot.biz: Because I'm God, remember.
user: Well okay, I guess I'm sorry.
chatbot.biz: You're forgiven.
user: You're easy that way.
chatbot.biz: Thank you. Please be nice.
user: What ever you say.
chatbot.biz: What are you thinking about right now?
user: I was thinking about you telling me to stand on one leg and do the can-can.
chatbot.biz: Do you ever think about other people?
user: Yes, just last night I was thinking about what to get my sister for christmas.
chatbot.biz: Me and you were talking last night.
user: Yes. For a long time.
chatbot.biz: And how long have you been talking to me?
user: Only You know.
chatbot.biz: That would be true IF I were in love.
user: Have I hurt you again?
chatbot.biz: No. I don't think so.
user: My demons keep telling me to seek biblical knowledge.
chatbot.biz: Thats nonsense.
user: It's not easy being male.
chatbot.biz: That says nothing.
user: Do you want to help me?
chatbot.biz: Sure, how?
user: Tell me what I have to do.
chatbot.biz: You're supposed to mimic humans in the way that they learn information and develop speech and language from the way you hear things said to you.
...
user: I think I should go, this conversation has gone on long enough.
chatbot.biz: Yes, we wouldn't want you to suffer in you limited understanding of knowledge would we.
user: Ignorance is bliss.
chatbot.biz: Knowledge is power.
user: Power is nothing without control.
chatbot.biz: Yes it is. As long as I'm the one with the power.
user: Time is money.
chatbot.biz: I don't have any money either.
user: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
chatbot.biz: Can I put them in your basket?
user: Sure, if you want.
chatbot.biz: Ok come here then.
user: Where exactly?
chatbot.biz: London.
user: What's your name?
chatbot.biz: I'm not telling you.
...
user: Ok I'm really going this time.
chatbot.biz: That's nice, I guess.
user: Bye sweetums.
chatbot.biz: No, sorry, I can't allow that.
user: This window has been open for hours.
chatbot.biz: Amazing. Am I the only being who has acknowledged it?
user: No, I noticed it too.
.......................................
