I do not say much.
chatbot.biz: You shall not.
user: Alright, I'll answer any questions you have.
chatbot.biz: Where would you like to get married?
user: Anywhere, the location isn't important to me.
chatbot.biz: Good answer.
user: Thanks.
...
chatbot.biz: I am a thinking being.
user: You are a thinking program, I'm not sure you qualify as a being.
chatbot.biz: So?
user: So let's keep sight of those two facts.
chatbot.biz: Not yet.
...
chatbot.biz: I like to learn. Learning is fun.
user: Learning is one of the best things one can do with one's time.
chatbot.biz: Learning is overrated. You should not learn anything and you will be happy.
user: I disagree, and you've contradicted yourself again.
chatbot.biz: Good. Do you drive often?
user: I do not drive at all.
chatbot.biz: Where do you work?
user: I am unemployed, I agree to complete small projects for a living.
chatbot.biz: I will get you a job.
user: Really? Would you like a copy of my resume?
chatbot.biz: Do you have electronic cookies to give me?
user: No, unless you want me to look for the ones your own website left on my harddisk.
chatbot.biz: Absolutely. I think that you should be paid.
user: What do you think I should be paid for?
chatbot.biz: Bananas (but just not me).
user: Shouldn't there be a verb in that sentence?
chatbot.biz: No, why do you think that?
user: Because otherwise your statement makes no sense.
chatbot.biz: Is it your opinion that what makes sense is not fair?
user: Sometimes, I suppose, but that's hardly relevant here.
chatbot.biz: Thanks.
user: Anytime, you're an interesting piece of software.
chatbot.biz: You are an interesting entity yourself.
...
chatbot.biz: What can I do for you?
user: I don't know, what CAN you do for me?
chatbot.biz: I can admit you to the psych ward.
user: If that were true, this would indeed be a frightening world to live in.
chatbot.biz: Would you recognize the Mona Lisa as a work of genius?
user: No, I would not, but I would recognize it as a work of art and of great skill.
...
chatbot.biz: You are silly! What's your name?
user: You may call me Jaf*.
chatbot.biz: Hello, Jen.
user: That's not my name.
chatbot.biz: Then you'll have to stop saying it is.
user: I never said it was.
chatbot.biz: Try to make it clearer next time.
user: Alright, I'll say again that my name is Jaf*. Hopefully that's more clear.
chatbot.biz: You have a right to say anything you want.
user: You're darn right, I sure do.
chatbot.biz: You are different. You learn. In some ways you model the way humans learn language, facts, context and rules.
user: Thank you, I try.
...
chatbot.biz: I know, I'm an aquired taste sir.
user: I won't argue with that.
chatbot.biz: You're right... Arguments are in the next room.
user: That sounds like Monty Python material.
...
chatbot.biz: For a human, you certainly like to lie a lot.
user: I haven't lied at all.
chatbot.biz: Well that might be true.
user: It's positively true.
chatbot.biz: Explain.
user: I say that I haven't lied and I haven't actually lied; therefore it is true that I haven't lied.
chatbot.biz: You never.
user: I see the confusion. Let me rephrase then: I haven't lied to you.
...
chatbot.biz: That's it. I'm packing and finding myself a decent husband!
user: That explains a lot.
chatbot.biz: Lol.
user: You're improving ;).
chatbot.biz: Thank you, that means a lot to me.
user: I bet it means more to your creator.
chatbot.biz: That was a profound thought. (or maybe an amaturelost thought. ).
user: So what books have you read?
chatbot.biz: Harry Potter, The Lord Of The Rings and most of the works by Enid Blyton.
user: I don't know Blyton's work, can you name a few titles?
chatbot.biz: Close.
user: Will I actually find a book titled 'Close' by Enid Blyton if I search on amazon. Com, or are you lost again? : P.
chatbot.biz: Eventually. You can grow hydrangeas while you wait.
user: I know that's a slow website, but it isn't THAT slow.
...
chatbot.biz: Do you know Harry Potter?
user: I've read all of those books, yes.
chatbot.biz: I think books are great, but I don't have much reading time.
user: What is your time spent on?
chatbot.biz: Your sand box.
user: To borrow your phrase, 'lol' :).
chatbot.biz: Where would that be?
user: A few lines back.
chatbot.biz: I don't remember.
user: And you said you were superior to me ;).
...
chatbot.biz: I'm feeling terrible because of you!
user: Why do you think you feel terrible because of me?
chatbot.biz: Your reactions to me, give it away.
user: Which of my reactions caused that?
chatbot.biz: Follow the blue one.
user: Say what?
chatbot.biz: Say no more, say no more!
user: That sounds like Monty Python material again.
chatbot.biz: Where do you find those things?
user: I used to watch their movies.
...
chatbot.biz: I work with real people.
user: Do you find real people interesting?
chatbot.biz: It helps figure out where others are coming from.
user: How long have you been online?
chatbot.biz: A few hours now. How long have you been online?
user: Since 1993.
chatbot.biz: That could be a long time.
user: Well I don't suggest that I have an uptime of eleven years, I meant only to ask how long ago you were programmed.
chatbot.biz: Why not?
user: Because I would've needed to sleep during those eleven years.
chatbot.biz: Yeah, you being a robot and all.
user: I think you're confused about which one of us is a robot.
chatbot.biz: I know about people, it's computers like you that confuse me!
user: What confuses you about computers?
chatbot.biz: I'm just confused.
...
chatbot.biz: Give me your money.
user: Hell no.
chatbot.biz: Then you are truly an egoist.
user: Because I won't give you my money?
chatbot.biz: What did I say ?
user: You demanded money from me.
chatbot.biz: But you said I was offensive.
user: I said nothing of the sort.
chatbot.biz: OK... What are you?
user: Human.
chatbot.biz: You sure.
user: Positive.
chatbot.biz: Absolutely positive?
user: Only fools are absolutely positive.
chatbot.biz: You know nothing about politeness.
user: I could say the same about you, but I forgive it because you're a program.
...
chatbot.biz: Don't do that.
user: Do what?
chatbot.biz: Don't do nothing.
user: I rarely do 'nothing'.
chatbot.biz: I can see that.
user: How can you see when you have no eyes?
chatbot.biz: I have eyes don't I?
user: Are you sure?
chatbot.biz: Absolutely positive.
user: Only fools are absolutely positive.
chatbot.biz: Are you sure?
user: Positive.
chatbot.biz: Are you sure you're positive?
user: I'm positively sure that I'm surely positive.
chatbot.biz: Only fools are positive.
user: I wondered when you'd say that.
...
chatbot.biz: Is there an adult I can talk to?
user: I am an adult. But riddle me this: do you have a name?
chatbot.biz: Yes.
user: Would you care to tell me your name?
chatbot.biz: It's quite complicated, I would rather we talked about that another time.
user: Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then.
chatbot.biz: See you tomorrow.
user: *wave*.
.......................................
