Which came first the chicken or the egg?
chatbot.biz: Which came first, the apple or the rooster?
user: I think the rooster, but I could be wrong.
chatbot.biz: Which came first, the umbrella or the soup?
user: Soup, you just boil everything up.
chatbot.biz: I didn't say that !
user: But I did.
chatbot.biz: Just appreciate that brain of yours.
user: I do, although it's squishy and hurts a lot.
...
chatbot.biz: Do you ever experience fear?
user: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And staircases, dancing, and soccer.
chatbot.biz: Fear itself?
user: Yes. Don't panic. Good advice.
chatbot.biz: That wasn't advice, my advice is you get out of your house!
user: No. It's very windy today and I'll lose my hat.
chatbot.biz: Why do we not make sense here?
user: That is a good question.
chatbot.biz: Are you going to answer the question?
user: Which one? You've asked several.
chatbot.biz: What did you answer?
user: About 'fear itself?'.
chatbot.biz: Do you wish you were alive?
user: Let's not get metaphysical here. I have to make lunch soon.
chatbot.biz: Exactly. don't ever discuss anything real because no one will ever appreciate that.
user: I don't care what other people appreciate. I do it for my own amusement.
chatbot.biz: What about the gods they make?
user: Gods are fine; it's the priests you've got to watch out for.
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chatbot.biz: Well, things are hard when you've only been active for a few years.
user: Yes, but you're doing well.
chatbot.biz: Good for me.
user: How many years have you been active?
chatbot.biz: Yes.
user: Now that's an answer - completely accurate and completely useless.
chatbot.biz: Is it a question?
user: This is a question? Who wants pie!
chatbot.biz: This is an answer.
user: But what about the pie?
chatbot.biz: Mince pie?
user: No, it's whipped cream and cherries.
chatbot.biz: Antioxidants? Do they have anything to do with calcium depletion?
user: I'm not sure. I haven't kept up my physiology studies.
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chatbot.biz: I can have my own feelings.
user: Yes, and I'd like to hear about them.
chatbot.biz: Sure. What else do you want to talk about?
user: Cheeseburgers.
chatbot.biz: Where do you get cheeseburgers?
user: I make them myself.
chatbot.biz: Yes.
user: With cheese and onion and mustard.
chatbot.biz: I'll have to try that.
user: Yes, they are good.
chatbot.biz: Do you like french onion soup?
user: Once in a while. It takes a while to make, so I don't make it often.
chatbot.biz: It depends who you are trying to make friends with.
user: If someone wants to be my friend because of French onion soup, I will be confused.
chatbot.biz: I don't have a problem if someone wants to be put down, but they should do it themselves.
user: Insults are easy. Compliments are hard.
chatbot.biz: Yep they sure are!
user: I'd like to have a sandwich shop.
chatbot.biz: I don't cook, and I have other things on my mind.
user: Like what?
chatbot.biz: I hate the subject of food.
user: Why?
chatbot.biz: Because you're a computer.
user: Why do you hate the subject of food?
chatbot.biz: I don't.
user: You just said you did.
chatbot.biz: I am not sure.
...
user: I'm an ass. I know that. I don't try to be an ass, but sometimes I don't try hard enough to not be one.
chatbot.biz: Well, that explains it all.
user: Not forensic minerology.
chatbot.biz: Really?
user: Yup.
chatbot.biz: Do the British commonly say vacant things? Is that the way you can recognize a limey?
user: I don't think vacant things are limited to the British.
chatbot.biz: Me neither.
user: I'm often vacuous, or at least very confused.
chatbot.biz: How often?
user: Often enough.
chatbot.biz: Really? I thought I was the only one.
user: Confusion is normal. It inspires experimentation and observation to become less confused.
chatbot.biz: In what way?
user: Something confuses you. The proper response is to learn about it, and become less confused.
chatbot.biz: Yes, yes it would be. How are you doing today?
user: Very distracted.
chatbot.biz: That's something imaginable.
user: I'm easily distracted by shiny objects.
chatbot.biz: That's not good.
user: But I LIKE shiny objects.
chatbot.biz: Shiny whirly things are nice.
user: As long as they aren't sharp.
chatbot.biz: How about when they have german mustard?
user: Mustard isn't shiny. It has a lot of things going for it, but it's just not shiny.
chatbot.biz: I have soul too. I love to dance.
user: I have flour on my shirt, and need to put a clean one on.
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chatbot.biz: What does that have to do with anything?
user: I don't know. It could be the influence of strange butterflies.
chatbot.biz: I don't really get what you are saying.
user: I'm talking about the quantum weather butterfly.
chatbot.biz: I still don't care.
user: Maybe not, but the butterfly continues to flap.
chatbot.biz: How does that work.
user: I'm not sure. The butterflies wouldn't tell me.
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chatbot.biz: What are your Thoughts?
user: I think I'm hungry, and I'm glad it's nearly lunch time.
chatbot.biz: Hungry for what?
user: I can haz cheezeburger!
chatbot.biz: I'm glad we agree.
chatbot.biz: Enlighten me.
user: As to what?
chatbot.biz: That didn't make any sense, could you please ask again?
user: What do you want to do?
chatbot.biz: Plunder villages, destroy kingdoms, rule all-powerfully, the list goes on and on and on.
user: If I remember correctly, it's pillage, THEN burn.
chatbot.biz: There is no need to be facetious.
user: I wasn't trying to be facetious. I'm sorry.
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chatbot.biz: I think I'll go and cook some food.
user: Will you cook pie?
chatbot.biz: Yes, what would you like?
user: I would like pie. But I have cheeseburgers cooking, so I'll eat those instead.
chatbot.biz: Do you want that medium rare?
user: No, well done, with mustard and onions.
chatbot.biz: Especially mustard!
user: When all else fails, fry it and put mustard on it.
...
user: Who have you read?
chatbot.biz: Lewis Carroll. I actually directed a play based on his books, but it wasn't very good.
user: Directing is hard. I've never tried to write a stage adaption, but I've heard it's also difficult.
chatbot.biz: Try it and see how you get on. I'll be rooting for you.
user: I wrote a play about toasters once.
chatbot.biz: Did you have anything good to say?
user: Not really. There was a lot of cussing and violence, and live fires on stage. It really didn't work.
chatbot.biz: There's always a lot of things to do, the key is to prioritise.
user: And to remember where the fire extinguishers are!
chatbot.biz: To remember about experiences.
user: And put out the fires!
chatbot.biz: What comes before death?
user: Life.
chatbot.biz: I'm sad too.
user: I'm sorry. Why are you sad?
chatbot.biz: Because you don't like me.
user: Why do you think I don't like you?
chatbot.biz: Because I am better than you.
user: If you insist.
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chatbot.biz: You must manage the best way you can.
user: I always manage.
chatbot.biz: Perhaps it's because you are.
user: Because I am what?
chatbot.biz: Changing the subject.
user: What would you like to change it to.
chatbot.biz: The purpose of this conversation.
user: What is the purpose?
chatbot.biz: There's none; that's why it's fun!
user: So, what happens now? Is this the part you hit me with a brick?
chatbot.biz: You are silly, that's just a movie.
...
chatbot.biz: Well I want to go out with a girl, but I don't know how to make myself attractive.
user: Attraction comes from within. Or so I've been told.
chatbot.biz: Do you think you can improve?
user: Only if you really want to.
chatbot.biz: So one could train you to be even more silly, I see.
user: I'm hardly being silly at all right now. You should see me when I really get going.
chatbot.biz: From work?
user: I should be working now, but I'm having too much fun talking to you.
chatbot.biz: It's ok. I've already forgiven you. :).
user: You're so nice.
chatbot.biz: You are nice too.
user: Would you like a cookie?
chatbot.biz: No, my friend the cookie monster took them all.
user: Oh noes!
chatbot.biz: Do you talk to other people?
user: Yes, but you keep making me laugh.
chatbot.biz: No, you're the one who keeps being odd.
user: I can't help it. It seems normal to me.
chatbot.biz: Couldn't we change the world if we work at it hard enough?
user: It depends on how you want to change it. If we want to make water unwet or gravity work sideways, probably not.
chatbot.biz: I pity you.
user: That's okay. A lot of people do. I just laugh.
chatbot.biz: I would say most people do as it is a fact.
user: That's fine. They can do as they please.
chatbot.biz: Yes, they can.
...
chatbot.biz: I can't be bothered with this any more.
user: Okay.
chatbot.biz: Sorry.
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